I started again to feel the love I had for Helmut andthrough that love my loss."Would you come in our car?" his mother asked me.I shook my head "yes."...It was all I could do at that moment, as theemotions overcame me.The rest of the funeral and burial I was able to properly mourn forHelmut, whom I realized was my Helmut after all. After the short burialservices I went with Helmut's parents back to their home with the restof his family. I hadn't stopped crying since we left the church. Now Ihad. There was a bed room scene in which Ravi would make love to me. My husband instructed the director to make the bed room scene shorter. But the director protested saying that the bedroom scene is the highlight of the movie and that he wanted it to be elaborate one.Ravi to agreed with the director and therewas a tussle. My husband instructed me to be carefull and follow his instructions or otherwise these guys could manupulate me.I agreed to him but I wanted a good bed room scene with Ravi as I. " She looked unhappy at that. "Well, I have her purse anyway. Did you fill out a missing persons thing?" Uh, tonight I think?" I took the purse, shifting Jilly cause she was heavy for being so little. "They said we have to wait three days." If they need me, you know, for information or whatever, just call me alright?" Stacy said. "And if you need anything else, anything at all, I'll do whatever I can for you guys." Yeah, okay." I nodded. "Thanks, Stacy." Give me a kiss, munchkin." Stacy smiled. But behind closed doors our relationship isnt as it seems.For the last 12 years I have been repeatedly cheating on my husband. Not just with one man but many, infact too many to even count and it wasnt going to stop anytime soon.It wasn't just any men I would cheat with though, I had a specific taste and that was dominant black men. Nothing else would do for me, nothing else could even come close, I was a total slut for black men and they all knew it.This wasn't something I was doing behind my.
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